Quotes

I was just reading some quotes and some of there were funny so I thought I would share...

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it. Mae West

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans. Woody Allen

I can please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow’s not looking too good either.

Marriage is made in heaven; but then, so are thunder and lightning.

I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he wouldn’t trust me so much. Mother Teresa

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck

Hey, the way I figure it is this: if the kids are still alive by the time my husband comes home, I've done my job.